Social Dilemma’s Hallee Adelman Covers Addiction in Our American Family

Fred: What’s up, everybody? This is Fred Richani. We have right here via Zoom a very special guest. She is an author, PhD and filmmaker. You may know her work from Netflix’s hit The Social Dilemma. We are going to be talking to her not just about The Social Dilemma, but about the latest issue that she is tackling, generational addiction, with the award-winning documentary that’s making the rounds right now, Our American Family. We are talking to Hallee Adelman. Hallee, thank you so much for joining us. You have a new documentary that is out right now making its rounds on the film festival circuit, and it’s actually already won an award. It’s called Our American Family. Really powerful stuff, talking about addiction, but not just addiction: generational addiction, an addiction passed down through generations within a family.

Can you talk about what made you decide to make this documentary on such a trying and traumatizing subject for a lot of people?

Hallee Adelman: Yeah. I think what made us really step into the project was this family, honestly. They were so excited to be brave, to take off their masks, to open their doors and their windows when most people would have closed the shades. They wanted to be fearless in efforts to help other families and to bash the stigmas that are associated with addiction and substance use disorder. So really, I have to give credit to this family for sparking the fire behind this project.

Fred: And you’re from the Philly area. This takes place in the Philly area with a Philly-area family. Did you know this family prior to making this documentary?

Hallee Adelman: Yeah, we’ve known each other for years. Knowing each other before we started the film really helped us build a great, deep trust before we got started.

Fred: Did you find any challenges in the making of this documentary as far as the responsibility? On one hand, you want to raise awareness and shine a light on a very serious issue, especially because not everybody talks about their addictions as openly as this family did. But at the same time, you also want to respect their space, if that’s the right phrasing, and make sure it’s not too triggering or traumatizing as well. How were you able to walk that line as a filmmaker?

Hallee Adelman: We wanted to respect them 100 percent. What we did, which I do with all of my projects, is we just showed up with a lot of love. We showed up with love, with a nonjudgmental attitude, and we talked to the family every step of the way. When we first started filming, it was a sensitive time. As you mentioned, Chris had said Nicole had overdosed four different times that past year. So this was something that the family had been living with. This cycle kept repeating itself over and over again, which so many families can relate to. When we walked in, Nicole hadn’t been allowed into the family home for months. It was her first time being back in the family home, and it was a time where they all said, “Enough’s enough.

We don’t want addiction on center stage anymore. We’ve tried everything. We’re totally exhausted. We’re tired of this baggage that society puts on us with all this judgment and all these negative thoughts, while we’re already dealing with so much. Let’s show people what this is like.” So our approach was really just to walk in with love and keep that respect the whole way.

Fred: That’s fantastic. I think you also did a great job throughout the film of reminding people that addiction isn’t something you can just quit overnight. It’s a disease, an actual diagnosed disease, and not something you can easily shake off, and I thought you did a tremendous job with that. As far as what you learned in the making of this documentary, was there anything that jumped out at you or surprised you? I’m sure you dove headfirst into the subject. Was there anything where you thought, “Wow, if we show this to, say, high school students, there’s something they could learn that maybe I didn’t initially expect”?

Hallee Adelman: I think the biggest thing that I took away from this was how we don’t even realize how close addiction is to all of us. So many people are dealing with addiction in their families, and those who aren’t don’t realize that as you’re walking around, so many people are struggling and not talking about it. I found this statistic that only 12 percent of people actually talk about it. I found out after we started working on this film that my cousin’s husband was struggling with an opioid use disorder, and I didn’t know that beforehand. So it was really seeing that you don’t know what happens behind people’s doors. So how can we show up every day with a little bit more compassion?

Fred: So would you say the long-term goal of Our American Family is not only to raise awareness, but to get more people talking about addiction? It’s the same thing with mental health, right? A lot of people struggle with mental health, but these days a lot more people are talking about it, which results in a lot more people getting help. Do you feel like that’s the same hope for Our American Family and the overall opioid crisis?

Hallee Adelman: Yeah. Obviously, with the film, one of the things that we’re committed to is making sure that other families feel like they’re not alone. Whether or not somebody’s ready to share their full story, we want to make sure they can see themselves, whether it’s in Stephen, who’s like, “Look, sometimes I feel like I have to put my own feelings and my own issues on the back burner while bigger things are happening with my sister,” or in Linda, who learned to minimize addiction from her own childhood with her mom struggling, and has to make a shift and see things differently. So really, it’s for people to start by seeing themselves in different people in the film, and making sure that people know that we’re going to step forward and scream for you.

If you’re not ready to share your story, we’re going to scream that you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed. And it’s okay if you decide that you want to speak out, or you decide you want to get help. Only 10 percent of people who are struggling with addiction are getting help, for various reasons, but one of them is this shame piece. Obviously, there’s an access piece too, which we talk about a lot as a group. And then it’s just bashing these stigmas, making sure that people understand that when you approach your librarian, who might have someone in their family struggling, or when you approach the bus driver that you love so much, or the waitress in your restaurant, you’re approaching people with love.

Fred: With all the people involved, from the stepfather to Linda to Chris, Stephen and Nicole, you really could relate a little bit to each one of them and their respective struggles. Was there somebody in the family that you related to most, that you were drawn to, where you thought, “Man, this is somebody that maybe I was, or I knew at some point in life”?

Hallee Adelman: What’s interesting is I think there was a piece of each of them that I could relate to. I could understand Linda, who wanted, as a mom, to fix something for her children that they needed to fix on their own. As a mom, it’s a pretty easy connection to make. I could understand Chris feeling resentment toward somebody in his family that he loves so much, because you want them to get better, but they’re not. I could understand Stephen, who’s like, “All right, I’m just going to be quiet in this moment.” So I think there’s something about all of them, honestly. For me, it was also refreshing to see Bryan throughout the film, who in the very beginning is like, “No way.

I don’t even want you around.” He had said there’s a toxicity to having Nicole around, in a pretty blatant way. But to see him transform as Nicole made progress, and as she showed that she was more reliable, was pretty awesome. So there was something about all of them that I connected with and cared about.

Fred: It’s hard to believe that within a couple of months of us recording this interview, it’s going to be the two-year anniversary of The Social Dilemma, the hit Netflix documentary you made, which covers all the pitfalls of social media. It talks about how Facebook and all these other platforms collect data, all the dangers, and how it can affect families and children. Looking back at that documentary and how well it was received, are you surprised that it made such a huge impact?

Hallee Adelman: I’m not shocked it grew so big, because it’s something that impacts all of us. These conversations impact so many people and are so important. And honestly, this filmmaking team, led by Jeff Orlowski and Larissa Rhodes, is an exceptional filmmaking team that approaches projects in a way that brings so much care to the table. They created this film and presented perspectives that are so important, raising the question of what’s happening with kids and their mental health if they’re using social media, and what’s happening to democracy. Are we getting fed information based on what is technologically perceived as important to us? These are really important questions that they’re asking, and they’re trying to make change so that it can benefit future generations.

So I’m not surprised, because they’re amazing. They’ve listened along the way to great experts, and they’re continuing to have important conversations to create impact.

Fred: You’re doing so much, and a lot of it is positively impacting people. What gets you going every day, especially when you already have such a massive workload? You work with children, you’re an author, you have a PhD, and filmmaking is obviously not an easy job, especially tackling a lot of these sensitive subjects. What does a day in the life look like for you?

Hallee Adelman: Oh my God. Well, first of all, I’m lucky enough to be talking to you.

Fred: Likewise.

Hallee Adelman: A day in my life is probably crazy. I probably shouldn’t let anybody see it. It’s really a nonstop drive, but it’s to really honor our next generation. The biggest thing for me is, how can we spark important conversations? How can we make things better tomorrow than they are today? I’m a mom. I have two kids. I want them to grow up in a world that has asked hard questions, and has people who are genuinely trying to respect one another and make things better together. So I think part of doing that is creating work that can start important conversations and let people respect each other in the deepest way.

Fred: As somebody who is a mother and who has worked with kids, when you go into filmmaking, or creating anything really, do you go about it with the thought that one day this will be read to or shown to classes?

Hallee Adelman: Well, I always consider the audience for any of my projects, because I’m a former teacher. I taught elementary school and I taught university. So for me, it’s deeply rooted in me to care about whatever I’m sharing with the people in front of me, whether it’s students, a film audience or just a bunch of families. I really care about our world and the people living in it, so I think when you do that, you are careful and loving in your work.

Fred: You feel good when you give back and do something positive.

Hallee Adelman: Yeah, and I don’t even view it as giving back, honestly. I view it as just doing what’s right. I just want to show up and do what’s right, and create projects with care and love. I’m not always going to get it right, but I’m going to do my best and have that approach.

Fred: Do you ever take a day off?

Hallee Adelman: No, I don’t. It’s funny, one holiday my husband got me a shirt, and it said on it, “Do less.” So I don’t really take a day off, but I do treasure moments with family and create space for family and friendships.

Fred: What’s the best piece of advice you’d give anybody looking to find success and really make a positive impact in life?

Hallee Adelman: I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but one, I would say approach whatever you do with love and care. Beyond that, I would say really dig deep and find what is truest. What are your talents? How can you use everything that you have to have the impact that’s important to you? You’re amazing at interviewing people, and you have all these interests in sports and films. How can you take what fuels you and is fun for you, and put it together in a way that can reach people? And if you can’t do that, how can you approach whatever job is in front of you? There are some jobs I’ve had in life… I remember I was a data entry person for a fantasy sports week one time.

How can you just show up in the best way? And the third thing I would say is find the right team. Work with people who are going to inspire you, who are better at doing something than you are. Just be okay with not knowing everything.

Fred: Fantastic advice. I really appreciate the insight. Actually, one more bonus question: is there anything you wish I did ask you in this interview?

Hallee Adelman: No, because I think you’re amazing. But I would also love to share with audiences that, for anybody who’s hoping to see Our American Family or follow what happens next with the film, we do have social media accounts on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. On Instagram and Facebook, it’s @OurAmericanFamilyFilm. On Twitter, it’s @OurAmerFamFilm. And we have a website, http://www.ouramericanfamilyfilm.com, and we’d love to have you as part of our family.

Fred: Awesome. And where can fans find you online?

Hallee Adelman: You can find me through any of those sites. You can also go to halleeadelman.com if you want way too much wacky information about me, or waypastbooks.com if you’re interested in my work for children and the book series.