Damian Gibbs, the ‘Prince of Aesthetics,’ Takes Aim at Dave D-Struction

Fred: I’m joined by the Prince of Aesthetics, Damian Gibbs. He’s looking jacked tonight. Damian, how you doing?

Damian Gibbs: How does it look? Come on. There is no one quite as aesthetic as Damian Gibbs. I’m the best.

Fred: What brings you here to the return to Rahway, New Jersey?

Damian Gibbs: Tonight is one year in the making. I first met that unaesthetic slob, Dave D-Struction, when he cheated in that battle royal. I don’t know if you were there. He pulled the hair. We’re not even gonna count that. PWS management said nope, but I’m the real winner. I carried this carcass the rest of the year. I got suckered into a tag team by Reality Check’s propositions about rising to the top. They sold me on something that was garbage. I finally turned my back on him, and I’ve never been better. Tonight, I take it to him, end it once and for all, get his fat behind out of here and bring the titles to me.

Fred: You guys were a team for like a year. Why did he never dedicate himself to the weights like you did?

Damian Gibbs: It’s kind of hard when you’re sitting on someone’s back. I could have had three back surgeries by now from carrying him everywhere. He was too busy throwing down McDonald’s while sitting on my back. The coattail riding is over. Tonight, he’s exposed for the fraud he is, a phony, unaesthetic slob. It’s all about the Prince of Aesthetics, Damian Gibbs.

Fred: Not everybody can be jacked like you, but when it comes to conditioning and lifting weights, what advice would you give young wrestlers today?

Damian Gibbs: I’m not gonna fill you with false expectations. You won’t look as good as me. You can come close, but a notch below will still make you the second-best-conditioned athlete in the world, and that’s pretty good. You need to start young. This month marks the 10-year anniversary of the first weight I ever lifted. I was about 115 pounds soaking wet, holding two bricks, 5-foot-8 with no muscle. Ten years later, here I am today. So get started early, whether it’s wrestling or lifting weights. Be active, eat clean, and you can one day be No. 2 to the Prince of Aesthetics.

Fred: What about me? Do I have any hope?

Damian Gibbs: Don’t quit your day job. You could be the court jester of aesthetics. How about that?

Fred: I like that. How much does it pay?

Damian Gibbs: You can pay me. I’ll sleep on that.

Fred: Where can fans find you online?

Damian Gibbs: You can find me at facebook.com/ThePrinceOfAesthetics. You should know how to spell it, but if you don’t, as I’m guessing you don’t: A-E-S-T-H-E-T-I-C-S. I’m on Twitter at RealAesthetics, or just scour YouTube and Google “Damian Gibbs sexiest man alive” or anything of that sort, and you’ll find me.

Fred: Damian, we really appreciate you dropping some knowledge. Hopefully there will be some hope for me in the near future.

Damian Gibbs: Wouldn’t count on it.

Fred: Thank you, bro. Have a good match.